Leo's Angel Oak Tree

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Page 99 Test

One of my twitter buddies told me about this test that is supposed to tell you if a book is worth reading. Just read page 99 of the book and if you like it, you should read the book. So, I decided to check my novel. Here is my page 99! It is the conclusion of Chapter 8. Would you read it?

Page 99 From SOLSTICE:

Leo didn't say a word on the drive back to the library. He just stared out of the windshield, his eyes wide and watchful. His silence was painful. Was he angry? At that exact thought, Leo put his hand on mine and stroked the top of it with his thumb. He was trying to comfort me.

I looked over at him, wanting so much to say something but too afraid to utter a sound. He didn't acknowledge my gesture. Leo was tense and looking everywhere as he drove through the streets of town. I had never seen him scared before. The city lights were blinking on as the dusk turned to dark.

We arrived at the library and he pulled in very close to my car. It would only take me two steps to get in. There wasn't a soul around and the whole scene made me scared as well. Leo spoke through the darkness in a rapid whisper, one streetlamp sending a streak of yellow across his face.

"Go straight home and I will follow you." He stroked my cheek with the back of his hand, his voice quivering with stress.

"You have to talk to me, Leo. What's going on?" I couldn't take it, his emotions were killing me. I held his hand to my cheek with my own, not willing to let go.

"I don't have time to explain, but I will tomorrow, I promise." He leaned his forehead down to touch mine. "I'm afraid my family is in danger, but you don't have to be involved...please...just do what I ask." Leo had never ordered me to do anything. He had always been the perfect gentleman. This must be very serious.

6 comments:

  1. Okay... let's just swap manuscripts, because I want to read your story! YAY! Good job.

    Margo Kelly
    www.margokelly.net

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  2. I'm hooked. I want to know what happens next!!!

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  3. Yes, definitely makes me curious about what's going on with Leo and his family. I would keep reading. I'm not a published author or anything, but as a former college newspaper editor and English major, I have one suggestion that may help out your edit. When you read your manuscript, try to change phrases to show the characters' tension, fear and stress rather than tell us that's how they feel.
    EX:
    Para 2 ...Leo was tense
    sugg: His eyes scanned the shadows along the streets as he drove. (Shows tension and builds suspense)
    Para 3 ...and the whole scene made me scared as well
    sugg: specifically what was spooky and sensory description of her reaction (heart racing, nerves jumping, palms sweating, etc.)
    Para 4 ...his voice quivering (omit "with stress")
    That's all I saw that might help. Otherwise, fantastic excerpt. Thank you for sharing it with us. I wish you success on the road to publication!

    Very Respectfully,
    Angela McCallister

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  4. Thanks Angela! Advice always helps!

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  5. YES I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT...and before lol.

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  6. More please! I'm intrigued, I want to know what happens.

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